FatKidWitAJetPak's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Ted's Christmas]

6th Voice Acting Contest Results

Ted's Christmas Final Score: 87

FatKidWitAJetPak's Judgment:

Acting: 28/35
Fit: 19/25
Originality: 7/15
Range: 14/15
Mixing: 8/10
Final: 76/100

You get big points on your range! Each character had a very distinct voice, although you can improve on your acting. The main throw offs in your acting are your sighs and laughs. They sound very fake and distract me from the flow of the skit. Also, the skit itself isn't really all that good. It is almost as if it is a random deleted scene from some movie, with no real beginning and no real ending. The whole winter theme wasn't wintery either, you could have expanded on the whole "retorted toqitoe guy" and made him work with elfs, possibly stuffing the toys with toqitoes and causing other "retarded toqitoe guy" havoc and chaos. Right now, it's just an easy script that anyone could have thought up in 5 minutes.

Anyway, when it comes to acting, strongly keep in mind the TONE of the character. The main character, for example, should be REALLY pissed off at the other guy. You make him sound very casual, however, almost as if he was simply talking without much enthusiasm. Don't get me wrong, you had good enthusiasm, but you could have made it a lot more enthusiastic. Act like you care, because your acting like the character, so you should try your best to think what the character thinks. This makes those sighs, tones, and other gestures a lot easier to carry out. Getting into character is really important, and you show signs of a good voice actor! Improvements, improvements, improvements.

Keep it up and soon I would hire you for my animation if I was some fancy animator, although it seems many enjoy your simple style of voice delivery, so your already on a great start.

JanShinYa's Judgment:

Acting: 34/35
Fit: 24/25
Originality: 14/15
Range: 14/15
Mixing: 9/10
Final: 95/100

Mostly nitpicking here. Every once in a while Ted's voice slipped into your normal voice (It was very noticeable). Jeremy's voice sounded a bit similar to Ted's Friend's(?) voice. My biggest complaint is for the mixing. there some pops that made their way into the recording and the reverb used toward the end on Ted sounded a bit robotic. Overall, I really enjoyed this. If I ever find an animator for my series, I would definitely scout you.

SimCorders Judgment:

Acting - 33/35
Fit - 25/25
Originality- 12/15
Range - 11/15
Mixing - 09/10
Final: 90/100

THIS IS BRILLIANT! Almost all the voices are unique and very well acted, loved the echoes.

[Robert Frost talks of winter]

6th Voice Acting Contest Results

Robert Frost Talks of Winter Final Score: 31

FatKidWitAJetPak's Judgment:

Acting: 5/35
Fit: 8/25
Originality: 8/15
Range: 0/15
Mixing: 1/10
Final: 22/100

This recording seemed very empty, with no music, improper cutting, and white noise as a background filler. Simply adding light background music / SFX such as a a ceiling fan, stuff going on in an office, people talking, touching music for touching scenes, hard core music for fighting scenes, or sexy music for sex scenes, can REALLY HELP.

Your acting is as empty as the background. You need to show more enthusiasm. I can understand Robert Frost is an old character, but you can still make a dying old man sound enthusiastic by getting into character! Make your voice a bit more wraspy, boring, and shaky. To spicen things up a bit, add hilarious "old man lines" that will keep people listening, or perhaps include ridiculous questions from children like, "WHY ARE YOU SO OLD". You can really spicen up the story by adding things like this.

Overall... I actually found this recording hilarious because it came off as a "troll" submission where you were just being an old fart who is SO FUCKING BORING. The thing is... the character is so fucking boring that this submission is so fucking boring and it makes everything so fucking boring, so I guess you did alright for a boring old man with no humor in him whatsoever, talking on like a fly buzzing around someones head until he is swatted down by some piece of newspaper and thrown in a trash can, that newspaper being a gun apparently. This character really made me laugh after thinking about it. This is probably one of the more lulzy submissions, so Im going to favorite it because of my absurd sense of humor.

Oh, and you only had one voice. three "Yays" from some kids don't count as a character. You need three characters for this to be an applicable submission. :C

P.S., did all this really happen to Robert Frost? If so, LMAO!!! xD

JanShinYa's Judgment:

Acting: 13/35
Fit: 18/25
Originality: 15/15
Range: 1/15
Mixing: 2/10
Final: 49/100

First of all, you technically used at least 3 voices, counting the children... but come on. Really? Using the same depressing voice for the entire skit is lame and it pisses me off a little bit. You had a very original idea that was brought down due to lack of effort and creativity. Besides that, there was obvious dead air behind your recording, the editing was choppy, there were clicks, pops, bumps and you tripped over your words. Overall, get into character and add some awesome voices and acting to an awesome concept.

SimCorders Judgment:

Acting - 26/35
Fit - 13/25
Originality- 13/15
Range - 2/15
Mixing - 4/10
Final: 58

Add some more voices that don't last less then 3 seconds. (for the whole duration of the movie)

[A very rudolph christmas]

6th Voice Acting Contest Results

A Very Rudolph Christmas Final Score: 31

FatKidWitAJetPak's Judgment:

Acting: 5/35
Fit: 5/25
Originality: 8/15
Range: 5/15
Mixing: 3/10
Final: 21/100

Please take these contests seriously, it takes a lot of time and work to judge these things. Although, I completely understand you just wanted to make people laugh, but didn't think you would win... so you just went ahead and make this as a joke I take it. That's fine and all, but con you should try to improve! There are a lot of errors in your acting, such as you not being in character at all, your voices all sounded a like, and it sounded as if you were just speaking into a microphone because you were bored one rainy sunday afternoon and didn't feel like jacking off.

The story is alright, but it can be expanded thoroughly. You should have made the killer some redneck, so his voice would sound redneckish of course, where he would lure Rudolph into some elaborate, redneck trap involving moonshine. When entering these contests, work harder on them and expand on your ideas. Get into character for easier expansion. Once you develop characters, you can create a great story with great acting! I thought the "now for dinner line" sounded pretty funny. Also, did your line "Open up, it's the police" come from you? It sounded like it was from a movie because it had some background christmas music or something. Maybe it was just your TV and my headphones picked it up.

JanShinYa's Judgment:

Acting: 17/35
Fit: 12/25
Originality: 14/15
Range: 4/15
Mixing: 4/10
Final: 51/100

One major downfall in this recording is the mixing. There's a major difference between parts with no dialog and with dialog due the dead air during the recording and the annoying clicks that seem to signify when the recording starts and stops. There were several puffs into the mic and lastly, the SFX (While sometimes cool when made by the VA) were very low quality and took away from the whole thing. The second major complaint is the acting. Every voice sounded almost exactly the same and there was very little emotion. I think the crazy guy's voice actually changed from one scene to the next Also, diction and tripping over your lines. Remember, you can do retakes. Overall with the acting, you really just need to come out of your shell. Don't take this review personally. Use it to grow. A few last things- the scenes were hard to follow and I'm still not sure if the last guy got stabbed. Some good points- It was a pretty original idea save for the Christmas theme. Also, I can tell if more effort was put into this, it could be well done.

SimCorders Judgment:

Acting - 3/35
Fit - 4/25
Originality - 7/15
Range - 4/15
Mixing - 3/10
Final: 21/100

Only thing I can suggest, practice your voice acting. Credits for trying though.

[A Christmas Story]

6th Voice Acting Contest Final Results

A Christmas Story Final Score: 72

FatKidWitAJetPak;s Judgement:

Acting - 25/35
Fit - 20/25
Originality 15/15
Range 14/15
Mixing 0/10
Final: 74/100

It was kind of hard to hear your voices because of the music volume. Simply turning it down a bit would be great! Remember, a skit isn't enjoyable unless you can hear it. I enjoyed your choice of music, it really did match everything... but it was far to loud. When the music ended, your voices were far to loud. Make sure that when your recording, your mic recording levels are not to loud and not to quiet. After 1:20, the voices were far to loud yo enjoy anything really.

Your originality was great. I loved how you took the simple environment of a mall with a santa, and turned into such a ridiculous adventure of shark killing. "...which would lower profits" LOL. The flashback scene was hilarious. I really wish your volume levels were better, because this writing is great. "DONT GROW UP TO BE A QUEER..." AT 3:40, there was way to much shit going on. I had to turn my speakers down waaayyyy to much.

Overall, I think you certainly have a fantastic writing talent and have a great range of voices. The only thing you should work on is your acting. Although it's a comedy, you can still have great acting by GETTING INTO CHARACTER. The mother shark, for instance, was perfect. And finally, MAKE SURE TO ADJUST THE VOLUME LEVELS! Everything was just... far to loud and annoying. It was a huge clusterfuck of noise. If this was an animation with better mixing, I'd laugh my ass off.

JanShinYa's Judment:

Acting: 25/35
Fit: 21/25
Originality: 14/15
Range: 10/15
Mixing: 3/10
Final: 73/100

First thought after listening to it...What the hell just happened? At first it seemed like a mish-mash of SFX, music, and random voices. It took me three listens to get a loose grasp on what was happening. Here are some main points that need improvement- Acting was over-the-top... I got so lost in everything that was happening that I actually spaced out he first time listening... everything was too loud which created a lot of clipping... when the shark(?) santa flipped out, the guy who screamed a couple of lines did that whisper scream which made it unbelievable... diction was a bit sloppy. Some final thoughts- Don't rely on randomness and SFX to make your skit funnier or to make it sound better. It muddles everything. Rely on the voice. Some good points- I'd much rather have the over-the-top acting than monotone. Learn to tone it down a bit and get into a realistic character. This had the potential to be very funny. Again, cut back on the SFX and music, and be careful
being so random. It can backfire.

SimCorder's Judgment:

Acting - 25/35
Fit - 13/25
Originality - 13/15
Range - 11/15
Mixing - 07/10
Final - 68/100

Learn how to implement yelling and this submission will be a lot better.

[Flakey The Snow-Man]

Final Results From 6th NG Voice Acting Contest

Flakey The Snowman Final Score: 69

FatKidWitAJetPak's Judgment:

Acting - 25/35
%u2028Fit - 16/25%u2028
Originality - 5/15
%u2028Range - 10/15%u2028
Mixing - 6/10
Final: 62

Lol at the *snap of the fingers = breaking of neck sound effect* Some of your kid voices sounded kind of odd. I couldn't really tell how old they were, but they sounded very cartoony so this would be good for an animation. Your acting is pretty good, although it is more centered around a comedy aspect rather than a serious aspect. Take in mind that just because its a comedy, doesn't mean the voices can't be serious. ACT like the characters are serious, even though it is a very non-serious atmosphere. For instance, you could really make the singing kid act a bit crazier, a lot more scared, and a lot more enthusiastic.

The snowman was a pretty funny character. You could have made him a mobster who believes he is a snowman, which is kind of what I was lead to believe there for a while. Your writing needs some improvement. In retrospect, it was just a snowman attacking kids and then arrested. You could have really built upon this idea by getting more into characters with everyone. This allows you to come up with ideas MUCH easier. You'd be surprised with how much improv work you can do by simply making a character and acting him to heart, or a close to heart as you can get to.

JanShinYa's Judgment:

Acting: 29/35
Fit: 22/25
Originality: 12/15
Range: 10/15
Mixing: 7/10
Final: 80/100

Comments:

The kids had very similar voices, which is the main reason for the loss of points in range. The other points from range were lost because the cop's voice was not too far away from the kids' either. The kids weren't nearly as scared or disturbed as they should have been with an insane, demonic snowman running around killing people. The cop (Who came out of nowhere), had a tone that sounded like he was landing a plae rather than firing a shotgun at a monster.

Also, with the lack of range in the cop's voice, there was a lack of fit. He wasn't as authoritative or tough as I would imagine. These were reasons points were lost in acting and fit. As for mixing, the bells and shotgun were a bit choppy and I didn't understand why there was a busy highway in the background. It didn't fit the scene well. Also, I didn't even realize Flakey was killing people until listening through again. Make that major event stand out.

Finally, originality took a hit because a murderous "Frosty" has been done before (An example being Ebolaworld's "Snowy") and in this contest I am really looking forward to skits done to a more general winter theme. The good points- I liked the voice of Flakey, overall sound quality was pretty good, and the short song at the end gave me a chuckle. There's a lot of really good voice acting potential if there was more effort getting into character.

SimCorders Judgment:

Acting - 28/35
Fit - 16/25
Originality - 10/15
Range - 8/15
Mixing - 4/10
Final: 66

Comments:
Most of the voices are diverse and done really well, but some additional audio and music would have greatly improved this submission

[Dat Beeshbawl (Dubstep)]

Needs Depth

The very first vocal is really high pitched and hurts the ears a bit, just turn that down a bit and it would make a great start for this song. This has good bass with a nice solid lead, but losses its depth around the 35 mark when the song gets more complicated. At 1:02, the drop should have been way more dramatic with an awesome filtered up lead mixed with a pause, and then a very heavy atmospherical effect. Having heavy bass with nice depth in dubstep songs is a very important factor. This means attetechnoishmpting to creating a nice layered track, almost as if it was surrounf sound. Treat it as a building with multiple stories. With just one story, it gets kind of cluttered. Dubstep needs many stories in order to achieve brilliance. Reverb, his, lowd, mids, none of that seems to be in there.

This song is, however, pretty cool for what it is. I did enjoy the electronic feeling to it in the beginning. It sounded more than anything.

-RRC User FatKidWitAJetPak-

RetromanOMG responds:

I agree with you on needing to check the volume on those audio clips, and the drop could've been better. I personally have never tried a Dubstep song before, so I literally have no experience with a bass drop.

Of course, there is always room for improvement, and I will definitely take your review to heart when I work on another Dubstep song.

[.:Vesoul:.]

Perfect For an RPG / Animation

Immediately this song makes me think of an RPG town theme like the classic ones in Chrono Trigger, Mario RPG, and Final Fantasy. It sounds very carnivalish, mixed with a great sense of adventure. If not in n RPG, this would be great for an animation where a kid just goes crazy and rides everything at a fair while buying cotton candy, annoying the hell out of everybody, and starving for adventure. This is a very quirky little tune, and really is composed well with a good, solid structure. This reminds me that a song can be great even though it's not something you would buy on a CD. You should participate in some of the Game Jams going on man, youd be a wonderful addition to the audio team.

Keep up your old school video game style work!

camoshark responds:

Thanks for the review!

I don't think you've checked the author comments, because I didn't make this song, I meerly transcribed it (still ALOT of work.)

As for the RPG part, I guess it's kind of true, thought I can't quite picture it. Some other guy said it sounded like Song of Storm, from Ocarina of Time, wich is totally true, though.

Again, I'll see what I can do with the Game Jams, I've only recently gotten active in the NG Community!

Thanks again for the review, glad you enjoyed!

Cheers,
Samuel Hébert

[SH - Come Too Far]

So Chill, So Thrice, Absolutely Nice.

Bro, this tune is so amazingly CHILLAX that I could fucking shoot napalm at it and it would turn the flame into star dust. The vocals in it ring through my head so smoothly and slip n slide with the beat in such an orgasmic multitude. The instrmuents you use are all very well done. What program do you use? Also, do you use Rhodes? This is fucking chill.

The only thing I noticed was that this baby is way to repetitive. The girl is incredibly sexy, don't get me wrong, but it's like she just keeps moving up and down on ma dick in the same fashion without moving much, and it gets kind of old after a while you know? She needs to get into different positions, maybe even give me a blowjob first to get me nice and hard. Hell, maybe even you can be a bit rough and throw in a vibrator or two.

What I'm saying is, this needs a bit more of a KICK somewhere in the middle to make a gigantic orgasm climax clusterfuck of pure awesome. It should build up with this nice beat into a DROP. It needs a fucking DROP. You know, throw in a few extra instruments, switch up the beat, and then after a nice mix of a well crafted handjob, go back to the original position and end the song with the same way it started.

Other than that, this is the hotest eargasm I have had in a while. You know, now that I think about it, some people like that repetitive motion. Maybe switching up things to such an extent would disrupt the flow. Bah, she had nice tits so I'll give you a ten.

[Fat Joker-Redux]

LOL - Needs some better acting though.

CURRAAAZZZIER than usual. HIlarious writing man. Although, he really didn't necessarily sound anything like the joker. I always have enjoyed your writing, and laugh at many of your simple voice acting skits. The only thing I recommend working on is the acting, perhaps adding a little crazy laughter in there in order to get attached to the character. When voice acting, I always try to make it to where I actually do feel like the character does. For example, if the character is angry I start to get FURIOUS. If he is crazy I start to laugh maniacally. If he is being punched I punch myself in the stomach (lol)

So yeah, work on your acting but your writing is great!

[.:Dixieland Reborn:.]

Great for a flash game loop!

Seems like a funny little diddy that I would hear at a piano bar back in the old west. This isn't a type of song that I would listen to in my spare time, but it is great for a game such as that one Cuboy game where he goes back in time and hangs out in the.. old west. I think you could have worked on the looping for this, as it would make a great loop.

It really does show proper knowledge of music composition, as you had a good selection of instruments with well done tunes and a good mix of leads and background to really keep the song going. You should try participating in this years game jams coming up, where teams of 5 get together and make a game / animation. You would be good for music.

For what this song is, it would be great for a flash game, but just not something I would find myself listening to in my spare time unless it was backed up with some sort of clever musical lyrics.

camoshark responds:

Thanks for the review, you're a great aquisition for the RRC!

I thought once of joining the game jams, but I didn't think I had the skills necessary to do so (also, I forgot :/)! Thanks for the tip, I'll probably do it!

As for the song itself, It's kind of related to ragtime (the genre you're speaking of), with the uppity feel and such, but it's actually Dixieland Jazz. Still, I'd agree to say it would probably still fit within that kind of flash!

Thanks for the compliments, it's well appreciated!

Cheers,
Samuel Hébert