FatKidWitAJetPak's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Robert Frost talks of winter]

6th Voice Acting Contest Results

Robert Frost Talks of Winter Final Score: 31

FatKidWitAJetPak's Judgment:

Acting: 5/35
Fit: 8/25
Originality: 8/15
Range: 0/15
Mixing: 1/10
Final: 22/100

This recording seemed very empty, with no music, improper cutting, and white noise as a background filler. Simply adding light background music / SFX such as a a ceiling fan, stuff going on in an office, people talking, touching music for touching scenes, hard core music for fighting scenes, or sexy music for sex scenes, can REALLY HELP.

Your acting is as empty as the background. You need to show more enthusiasm. I can understand Robert Frost is an old character, but you can still make a dying old man sound enthusiastic by getting into character! Make your voice a bit more wraspy, boring, and shaky. To spicen things up a bit, add hilarious "old man lines" that will keep people listening, or perhaps include ridiculous questions from children like, "WHY ARE YOU SO OLD". You can really spicen up the story by adding things like this.

Overall... I actually found this recording hilarious because it came off as a "troll" submission where you were just being an old fart who is SO FUCKING BORING. The thing is... the character is so fucking boring that this submission is so fucking boring and it makes everything so fucking boring, so I guess you did alright for a boring old man with no humor in him whatsoever, talking on like a fly buzzing around someones head until he is swatted down by some piece of newspaper and thrown in a trash can, that newspaper being a gun apparently. This character really made me laugh after thinking about it. This is probably one of the more lulzy submissions, so Im going to favorite it because of my absurd sense of humor.

Oh, and you only had one voice. three "Yays" from some kids don't count as a character. You need three characters for this to be an applicable submission. :C

P.S., did all this really happen to Robert Frost? If so, LMAO!!! xD

JanShinYa's Judgment:

Acting: 13/35
Fit: 18/25
Originality: 15/15
Range: 1/15
Mixing: 2/10
Final: 49/100

First of all, you technically used at least 3 voices, counting the children... but come on. Really? Using the same depressing voice for the entire skit is lame and it pisses me off a little bit. You had a very original idea that was brought down due to lack of effort and creativity. Besides that, there was obvious dead air behind your recording, the editing was choppy, there were clicks, pops, bumps and you tripped over your words. Overall, get into character and add some awesome voices and acting to an awesome concept.

SimCorders Judgment:

Acting - 26/35
Fit - 13/25
Originality- 13/15
Range - 2/15
Mixing - 4/10
Final: 58

Add some more voices that don't last less then 3 seconds. (for the whole duration of the movie)

[Flakey The Snow-Man]

Final Results From 6th NG Voice Acting Contest

Flakey The Snowman Final Score: 69

FatKidWitAJetPak's Judgment:

Acting - 25/35
%u2028Fit - 16/25%u2028
Originality - 5/15
%u2028Range - 10/15%u2028
Mixing - 6/10
Final: 62

Lol at the *snap of the fingers = breaking of neck sound effect* Some of your kid voices sounded kind of odd. I couldn't really tell how old they were, but they sounded very cartoony so this would be good for an animation. Your acting is pretty good, although it is more centered around a comedy aspect rather than a serious aspect. Take in mind that just because its a comedy, doesn't mean the voices can't be serious. ACT like the characters are serious, even though it is a very non-serious atmosphere. For instance, you could really make the singing kid act a bit crazier, a lot more scared, and a lot more enthusiastic.

The snowman was a pretty funny character. You could have made him a mobster who believes he is a snowman, which is kind of what I was lead to believe there for a while. Your writing needs some improvement. In retrospect, it was just a snowman attacking kids and then arrested. You could have really built upon this idea by getting more into characters with everyone. This allows you to come up with ideas MUCH easier. You'd be surprised with how much improv work you can do by simply making a character and acting him to heart, or a close to heart as you can get to.

JanShinYa's Judgment:

Acting: 29/35
Fit: 22/25
Originality: 12/15
Range: 10/15
Mixing: 7/10
Final: 80/100

Comments:

The kids had very similar voices, which is the main reason for the loss of points in range. The other points from range were lost because the cop's voice was not too far away from the kids' either. The kids weren't nearly as scared or disturbed as they should have been with an insane, demonic snowman running around killing people. The cop (Who came out of nowhere), had a tone that sounded like he was landing a plae rather than firing a shotgun at a monster.

Also, with the lack of range in the cop's voice, there was a lack of fit. He wasn't as authoritative or tough as I would imagine. These were reasons points were lost in acting and fit. As for mixing, the bells and shotgun were a bit choppy and I didn't understand why there was a busy highway in the background. It didn't fit the scene well. Also, I didn't even realize Flakey was killing people until listening through again. Make that major event stand out.

Finally, originality took a hit because a murderous "Frosty" has been done before (An example being Ebolaworld's "Snowy") and in this contest I am really looking forward to skits done to a more general winter theme. The good points- I liked the voice of Flakey, overall sound quality was pretty good, and the short song at the end gave me a chuckle. There's a lot of really good voice acting potential if there was more effort getting into character.

SimCorders Judgment:

Acting - 28/35
Fit - 16/25
Originality - 10/15
Range - 8/15
Mixing - 4/10
Final: 66

Comments:
Most of the voices are diverse and done really well, but some additional audio and music would have greatly improved this submission

[Dat Beeshbawl (Dubstep)]

Needs Depth

The very first vocal is really high pitched and hurts the ears a bit, just turn that down a bit and it would make a great start for this song. This has good bass with a nice solid lead, but losses its depth around the 35 mark when the song gets more complicated. At 1:02, the drop should have been way more dramatic with an awesome filtered up lead mixed with a pause, and then a very heavy atmospherical effect. Having heavy bass with nice depth in dubstep songs is a very important factor. This means attetechnoishmpting to creating a nice layered track, almost as if it was surrounf sound. Treat it as a building with multiple stories. With just one story, it gets kind of cluttered. Dubstep needs many stories in order to achieve brilliance. Reverb, his, lowd, mids, none of that seems to be in there.

This song is, however, pretty cool for what it is. I did enjoy the electronic feeling to it in the beginning. It sounded more than anything.

-RRC User FatKidWitAJetPak-

RetromanOMG responds:

I agree with you on needing to check the volume on those audio clips, and the drop could've been better. I personally have never tried a Dubstep song before, so I literally have no experience with a bass drop.

Of course, there is always room for improvement, and I will definitely take your review to heart when I work on another Dubstep song.

[.:Vesoul:.]

Perfect For an RPG / Animation

Immediately this song makes me think of an RPG town theme like the classic ones in Chrono Trigger, Mario RPG, and Final Fantasy. It sounds very carnivalish, mixed with a great sense of adventure. If not in n RPG, this would be great for an animation where a kid just goes crazy and rides everything at a fair while buying cotton candy, annoying the hell out of everybody, and starving for adventure. This is a very quirky little tune, and really is composed well with a good, solid structure. This reminds me that a song can be great even though it's not something you would buy on a CD. You should participate in some of the Game Jams going on man, youd be a wonderful addition to the audio team.

Keep up your old school video game style work!

camoshark responds:

Thanks for the review!

I don't think you've checked the author comments, because I didn't make this song, I meerly transcribed it (still ALOT of work.)

As for the RPG part, I guess it's kind of true, thought I can't quite picture it. Some other guy said it sounded like Song of Storm, from Ocarina of Time, wich is totally true, though.

Again, I'll see what I can do with the Game Jams, I've only recently gotten active in the NG Community!

Thanks again for the review, glad you enjoyed!

Cheers,
Samuel Hébert

[SH - Come Too Far]

So Chill, So Thrice, Absolutely Nice.

Bro, this tune is so amazingly CHILLAX that I could fucking shoot napalm at it and it would turn the flame into star dust. The vocals in it ring through my head so smoothly and slip n slide with the beat in such an orgasmic multitude. The instrmuents you use are all very well done. What program do you use? Also, do you use Rhodes? This is fucking chill.

The only thing I noticed was that this baby is way to repetitive. The girl is incredibly sexy, don't get me wrong, but it's like she just keeps moving up and down on ma dick in the same fashion without moving much, and it gets kind of old after a while you know? She needs to get into different positions, maybe even give me a blowjob first to get me nice and hard. Hell, maybe even you can be a bit rough and throw in a vibrator or two.

What I'm saying is, this needs a bit more of a KICK somewhere in the middle to make a gigantic orgasm climax clusterfuck of pure awesome. It should build up with this nice beat into a DROP. It needs a fucking DROP. You know, throw in a few extra instruments, switch up the beat, and then after a nice mix of a well crafted handjob, go back to the original position and end the song with the same way it started.

Other than that, this is the hotest eargasm I have had in a while. You know, now that I think about it, some people like that repetitive motion. Maybe switching up things to such an extent would disrupt the flow. Bah, she had nice tits so I'll give you a ten.

[Fat Joker-Redux]

LOL - Needs some better acting though.

CURRAAAZZZIER than usual. HIlarious writing man. Although, he really didn't necessarily sound anything like the joker. I always have enjoyed your writing, and laugh at many of your simple voice acting skits. The only thing I recommend working on is the acting, perhaps adding a little crazy laughter in there in order to get attached to the character. When voice acting, I always try to make it to where I actually do feel like the character does. For example, if the character is angry I start to get FURIOUS. If he is crazy I start to laugh maniacally. If he is being punched I punch myself in the stomach (lol)

So yeah, work on your acting but your writing is great!

[.:Dixieland Reborn:.]

Great for a flash game loop!

Seems like a funny little diddy that I would hear at a piano bar back in the old west. This isn't a type of song that I would listen to in my spare time, but it is great for a game such as that one Cuboy game where he goes back in time and hangs out in the.. old west. I think you could have worked on the looping for this, as it would make a great loop.

It really does show proper knowledge of music composition, as you had a good selection of instruments with well done tunes and a good mix of leads and background to really keep the song going. You should try participating in this years game jams coming up, where teams of 5 get together and make a game / animation. You would be good for music.

For what this song is, it would be great for a flash game, but just not something I would find myself listening to in my spare time unless it was backed up with some sort of clever musical lyrics.

camoshark responds:

Thanks for the review, you're a great aquisition for the RRC!

I thought once of joining the game jams, but I didn't think I had the skills necessary to do so (also, I forgot :/)! Thanks for the tip, I'll probably do it!

As for the song itself, It's kind of related to ragtime (the genre you're speaking of), with the uppity feel and such, but it's actually Dixieland Jazz. Still, I'd agree to say it would probably still fit within that kind of flash!

Thanks for the compliments, it's well appreciated!

Cheers,
Samuel Hébert