FatKidWitAJetPak's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[TkJ - Thaw]

Death is a cube of ice, thawing into a puddle.

Looking out my spiraling tower, I see into her eyes. Her body transmorphs the world into an everlasting nectar of earty, wind, and sky. The dark hue of the universe compels her to die, to suffocate underneath the fire and gasses. She needs oxygen. She has oxygen. Everyone loves her. They stroke her hair, sleep with her body, and smile into her eyes.

I stand here, looking into her eyes. The twinkling stars glitter against her dark hair. A mist swirls around me, washing against the moon and revealing its glow. The light melts over my face, and relaxes the dark. I look down below, and notice that my tower seems endless. There is no ground walk on. There are no trees to breath from. There is no ocean to swim in. The only thing that exists in my world is my tower, trying its hardest to touch the night sky but never succeeding in its efforts.

All I can do is thaw out the life around me, and fall into the darkness. My eyes close as she twists and turns my body. I love her for the last time and kiss her gentle lips. She carries me down the side of the tower and I smile to touch her smooth body. She looks into my eyes one last time, and I fall into her arms. The cold watery death that consumes my soul welcomes me in the sea. Bubbles rise for a few short seconds in its chaotic tides, then I disappear once again into nothingness.

I thought my life was nothing, but what lies before me is still nothing. There is always nothing. Life is just a cube of ice, thawing itself to a puddle. The ice may no longer exists, but its energy has transformed into the puddle of death. You may be able to keep the ice frozen, but sooner or later it will thaw, such as I have. That water will turn into gas and become one with her; a part of her world. I am now one with her ocean, and she is one with me. I have found love.

[Multicolour Octopus Ink..]

Ink

The black wall stood before me, endless as I could have never imagined. I had heard stories of it before, and had thought of it to be terrifying, strange, and terrible. Now I lay before it, out of breath, and drowning underneath its endless waves. The wall grows darker, and i sink into it as my heart calms. My pupils grow white, and my body becomes lifeless.

It isn't all that bad; death. I felt pain at first, but now I can't feel anything. All my fears, emotions, everything is gone. I just feel... relaxed. I begin to travel deeper into the wall, journeying farther into the unknown. It's alright, I think, or at least I think I think... hmm. Do I have a brain anymore? Is this all real? This is strange. The deeper I get the stronger the urge grows to go deeper. I dont feel curiosity or bewilderment, I just feel a physical pull.

The wall takes me farther, and soon I begin to realize that I am no longer surrounded by darkness. Lights of strange colors begin to glow around me, dancing in the current of the abyss. I stare at their luring colors and sing with them. They call to me and take me into a new world. A white light cuts open the pitch black, and takes me through.

I fall on top of a large, grassy plain. The hills surround me with an everlasting stare. They welcome me, and I feel safe. They watch after me, they care for me, and they love me. I walk closer to them, and watch the multicolored octopus float over head. Its body moves from side to side in the gentle breeze. It dances in the wind, and calls for me. I reach its astronomical grasp, and it takes me. I am now his.

I float in its universe, gliding with its planets and twinkling with its stars. The world spins around me, lighting up with strange and exotic forms that speak to me with chaotic tones. I don't know what they are.. who they are... all I know is that I am inside of the multicolored octopus, and it has me trapped.

I walk ontop of the bridge, hoping to find a way out. I walk. I stride. I run. I breath. I feel pain. I feel terror. I feel hunger. I feel icy hands wrapped around my throat, crushing my soul. I didn't make it. I fell underneath the grasp of the mighty multicolored octopus, and now I am a tortured soul amongst a dead universe of nothingness.

I fall forever. I walk forever. I am blind forever.

I am the octopus and it is me.

Kingbastard responds:

epic!

Thanks for this and for starting that thread in the Audio Forum too, shame about all the people having a go at you for doing it, but it's always the way, tiny minded fools haha:)

[Muss: Changing Reality]

Megaman!

A large room of metal and spikes outlines the path to get home. He tightens his blue helmet, adjusts his gadgets, and gets ready to make the first jump over the large pit. He steps backwards a little, and then springs forwards in a mighty leap of faith. His eyes grow wide in excitement as he waits for the landing. He rolls to a safe stop, and looks up to see a flying, blue monster in front of him. It shines its sharp teeth at him and dives at him. He immediately smacks the bird with his gun, and fires a large blue ball of fire, burning the creature to bits.

He dashes towards a platform and leaps onto it, grabbing it and pushing himself upwards to the next one. Several platforms later, he reaches the top of the room and strides down a long, metal rod, shooting creatures along the way. They scream in his swift skill, and fail at their attempts to stop him.

Moments later, he reaches the end of his journey, and steps safely inside his home.

(((I very much enjoyed the beginning synth, it was very clear and sounded awesome. The rest of the song flowed nicely, and gave a really cool video game like feeling to it. Nice job!)))

FairSquare responds:

I liked your story! :)
Thank you for reviewing.

[In the Void]

Sun

A light emerges in the darkness that englufs the universe. It fades away, and then bursts into a series of morphs and echoes throughout the world as quickly as it disappeared. It shrinks again, but this time begins to form a body of light, and dances its way outwards, slowly, but surely. It reaches for the darkness, and lights the world around it. The ground below can be seen, covered with green grass that blows in its wind. Trees can be seen over the massive mountains that cover the earth.

It colors the universe and paints it with magnificent beauty. Its roaring ring sings in the sky, and watches as the creatures below bask in its rays. It fills the void that is, and shrinks back down to rest once again.

(((Maybe a bit overpowering at points, but thats what made this song so illuminating)))

PearlDrummer516 responds:

I absolutely love it when my pieces give off an image to their listeners. I think the image and mood it gave you is quite unique, and I'm really glad you listened to it. You should listen to my other Void piece, "The Lorn Void." I want to know what kind of image you get from that.

- Arron -

[Abiunt]

Lost Love

In an endless, black abyss lies steel rods that twist and turn around eachother for miles, disappearing into the darkness. They surround a tunnel, floating from an unknown power. The man walks through this tunnel, never knowing how he got there or how he will get out. He simply walks, feels, thinks, and breaths. Although he does not grow hungry or thirsty, he feels pain. He feels a pain growing inside of him, rotting, spoiling, and festering within his heart.

He walks forever. He never stops. He strides aimlessly down the dirt road, surrounded by the steel rods that twirl around him. He screams. He fights the air. He sweats. He breaths. He lies down, tired, and cries. He rolls. He bleeds. He stands, and he kicks the dust beneath him. He knows there is nothing he can do. All he can do is walk through the tunnel, all alone, afraid, and dead.

This is limbo for the heart. This is abiunt.

JebusAndTheHolyYoses responds:

Cool, a detailed story comment. Really appreciated, thanks!

[Strang]

Poor Synth Choice

That synth is really bad... yet again, Im noticing that you dont pay any attention to instrument development. That synth moves around in my head like a worm eating me from the inside out. The ahhs and Oohs afterwards are alright, but dont mix well with the song at all, and are far to generic.

I dont understand the title either. Strang? It doesnt make sense, much like how this song doesnt make since. Its almost as if you sit down at a keyboard, rub your ass all over it, and see what comes out.

And the off beat keys at the end? That didnt make it much better.

Try developing a buildup. Start off with a simple tune using a well developed pad / synth that you worked at for quite some time, then play that synth into a easy to listen to progression. Add some background to it such as a pad, and then a beat. Stay away from these generic instruments thou! those can ruin a song, as they do not sound very nice.

Again, music theory would really help you.

[Precious.]

Music Theory

The beginning started off alright, but then turned into a generic shitstorm. The instruments you used all sounded as if they were produced by a midi player gone horribly wrong. You should try a lot harder on developing your instruments, because instruments are one of the main keys to creating music.

Another main key that you dont seem to grasp yet is organization. The sounds dont mix very well together, and I can barely detect a beat either. When people listen to music, they like something to chill to, something to move their head to, something that sounds catchy, something that is organized with proper volume levels, well created synths, well recorded instruments, and nice tunes.

Please, take a music theory class. It will help you a lot.

[The Weirdest Link]

Horrible

The beginning of the song makes me want to throw up. Its monotonous, far to organic, and has terrible mixing. The song pretty much gets worse after that with that same poorly made beat along with toher kicks and high hats that make me want to shoot myself.

The trumpet in the middle is played poorly, with no sign of organization. The sounds combine together in a very poor manner. This is just a bad song all together, please work on your music a lot harder next time instead of cranking out 6 songs in a week. Dedicate a week to ONE song, and see where that gets you.

Cuzone responds:

I took your review seriously until I listened to your music.

[Drowning into the Heavens]

Mark

Drowning Into The Heavens

The white ripples dance over the glassy waves, washing over the sandy beach. Tiny holes fill with clear blue, and collapse underneath until the banks are solid once more. The sun against the painted sky casts a hue of violet across the peaceful body of water. Its illuminating glow hovers over the ocean, and lowers until it shows only a single ray of light throughout the waters. The clouds begin to disappear, absorbed by the night sky. Day is conquered by night, and all that is heard within its grasp is the single, silent sound of waves washing over rock and sand. The moon rises in the night sky, casting a new light on the world.

Under the twirling salt water of the Mariana Trench lies an entire different world. Creatures with gills swim in colonies, rubbery skin covering their tiny bodies. Blobs of blue and red float throughout this universe, carrying tiny strands that move to the beat of the current. Colossal beings gaze through the world, singing in pure joy. Pieces of green and yellow plants attach themselves down below, hiding and housing colorful bodies that feed on its nutrition. Strange species roam its depths, deeper into the darkness.

Down below, where no human may ever breath or see, lies a land unlike any other. Stars light the abyss, in a multi array of color and beauty. These beings posses the ability to produce such wonder, because the darkness is so overwhelming. Exotic, horrifying molds wonder into the unknown. Millions of teeth cover them. Electric shots of poison shoot from their mouths. Tiny globs of light attract the weak to their grasps. The more peaceful absorb defensive structure, to confuse and bewilder the strong. Transparent figures dance. Knots of muscle float. Chemicals produce twinkling lights.

Even deeper, past the pitch black world lies a figment of gods imagination. Over the end of the ocean, lies a castle. A castle made of pure glass and gold. Its streaks of blue cover every inch, to form an astronomical city. The structures spread wide and far, holding a group of figures known as the wise ones. These creatures run the universe. They create. They destroy. With their spears of light, darkness, and glass, they control. Walking giants with crab shaped bodies slowly tread over the land, searching for death. All they see is the castle, and nothing else. It seems abandoned, it seems dead. All that is seen is glass. All that is seen are the waves of diamond, covering the beaches of their world.

He wakes up. He notices, quickly, that everything around him is made of a strange, glassy material. His face reflects distortedly back at him. There is nothing inside of this room except a single mattress, and a pitch blue door. He looks again, thinking this might be a dream, but he sees the same wonder. He opens his mouth, but his cries for help make no sound. What is this place? He gets up from the cold mattress, and stumbles against the blue handle of the door. It turns, to his surprise, and opens in complete silence. There is no sound... there is no air. Yet I can see.

Outside his chamber lies an endless tunnel of glass. There are no windows. There are no people. There is just emptiness. A tear drops from his face, and melts onto the glassy floor below. He walks. His footsteps make no sound as he continues into the unknown. He walks still. Hours pass. He grown tired. He grows anxious. He runs. He sweats. He screams to no avail, already understanding that this silent hell is an endless abyss of solid, blue glass. He slips, and falls to the floor below. Pounding his fist against its surface, he beings crying. He lies there, staring straight up. Everything is the same, distorted blue. It goes on forever. He grows hungry. He grows thirsty. He grows old.

Everything begins growing black. He stops breathing, and he finally hears a sound. His heartbeat covers everything, and then stops. The world is quiet once again. And so the crab shaped giants carry him into the sky, and illuminate the moon that lights our peaceful world.

----

Good job Mark :')

MarkySpark responds:

Good Job Nick!

[==(Perfect Morning)==]

Lol

Pads, I dont know what more to say.

Ah hell... its perfect. FUCK YOU MAN. xD

Cock joke.