FatKidWitAJetPak's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[July VO contest submission]

__REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

FINAL SCORE - 78 *averaged from all judges - 10 points for such a short length*

I know I never said anything about length, but honestly, is it fair for someone who made a 6 minute long quality work that would have more flaws because its longer to have the same score as this? I talked it over and decided it would be fair to subtract 10 points out of the total 400 which averaged it out from a 80 to a 78.

Anyway, as for this the acting was fairly good for what it was for. Hilarious, in fact. Made me laugh my ass off at the narreration being the unoriginal yet hysterical SNAAKKEE voice. A cartoon could use your crazy voice. I loved the story, fairly original but waayyyyyy too short. The ending caught me off guard though, It wouldnt really make since for him to say HEY LOOK A TURTLE *crash* unless he was absolutely drunk. I did catch that he had some sort of strange mental disorder though.. buying a snickers bar and all ;) So all in all, your hilarious at voice acting but you should have put more effort into this. - 65

Thanks for entering the contest! *read below to see what the other judges said*

NAXSTER SAYS:

Acting 35 / 35
Fit 24 / 25
Originality 13 / 15
Range 15 / 15
Mixing 10 / 10

97/100

COMMENTS: Short and included everything. Great job.

STALAGMITE SAYS:

Acting - 25/35
Fit - 17/25
Originality - 7/15
Range 13/15
Mix 10/10

-72

Short and sweet. ;D funny, fluid and natural flow. Well improvised then ;D needs to be longer though.

SCRIBBLER SAYS:

Acting - 30
Fit - 20
Originality - 10
Range - 15
Mixing - 9

84

Definitely got a talent in this submission. Originally, I was bummed by the length of the whole thing but then accepted that maybe, it was for the best. The character with the deep, gruff voice; I was going to dock you points just because it sounded extremely forced but as soon as I heard the other characters' voices, I realized that this was an extreme satire of all those "other" voice acting shticks. The little ambient drones and cues were well-placed but I am not going to judge you for that. Your prostitute voice was spot on, keeping in mind that this was far from serious, which makes me wonder, would you be able to actually pull off a convincing female voice? The story itself was also nonsensical enough to work given the borderline ludicrous contest guidelines (wink.) The clerk was another clichéd voice that somehow worked and I think that the magic came from the mixing. None of the characters sounded "in-your-face," meaning that they all sounded like they were a part of this little world you created which is something some of the other submissions tried to emulate but failed. So, as I said, this was short, yes, but maybe that was necessary. I personally believe that submission like this could not have gone on for 3-6 minutes and remained interesting. Perhaps extending it to the 2-minute mark would have been good but exactly one minute? Works for me.

[The Life of Garrett]

__REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

FINAL SCORE - 92 *averaged from all judges*

92 eh? Thats one ridiculous score. Congrats! Personally, I found that there were many acting flaws in your tone. At first I thought the stuttering every now and then was part of his characters, but every character stuttered. It was also a bit monotone at some points and didnt sound like he was depressed, it sounded like he was just bored and confused. He didnt sound handicapped either. He just sounded like a kind of awkwardly social kid who got beat up in school. I think you should have made him have a psycological disorder to where he ended up killing the bullies or stabbing one of them. If you really wanted to develop a true emotional story, make it into an actual short story about a kid who seems simply anti-social and is in a bad school, so he gets beat up. His character develops to where he would seem almost crazy, so he would begin being violent and in the end snap, then die of a heart attack or something.

What I mean is, this is a bit overrated. Sure it sent chills down my spine because the bullies killed him, the mixing was great since you used Garageband to back up everything with background noises, the characters did sound different, the quality was great, and the story was original. My personal score for you is a 83 and that still is extremely good and you would still get an award. So far your in 1st place. - 83

Thanks for entering the contest! *read below to see what the other judges said*

NAXSTER SAYS:

Acting 35 / 35
Fit 23 / 25
Originality 15 / 15
Range 15 / 15
Mixing 10 / 10

98/100

COMMENTS: Good Job.

STALAGMITE SAYS:

Acting - 35/35
Fit - 22/25
Originality -13 /15
Range 13/15
Mix 10/10

- 93

I bow down to you Pawklat. Holy shat. I nearly cried. NOT JOKE! Well done.

SCRIBBLER SAYS:

Pawlakt - The Life of Garrett
Acting - 34
Fit - 23
Originality - 15
Range - 15
Mixing - 9

96

I'm going to begin with a quote: "The best way for me to explain my life, is to take you through it." That sentence alone encompasses exactly what I wanted from every single actor in this competition! No other phrase could describe in more detail what I was specifically looking for (amongst the other criteria of course.) Now, even though you said that in your piece, I will try and not let the wonderful quote and fantastic choice of music affect my judgment of your piece. The first thirty seconds are extremely powerful, even without the music, your delivery feels like someone who has something extremely important to say but is taking his time to get it all right, so it can be presented the way it deserves. Close your eyes, anyone who listens to this piece (especially from the beginning) and I can almost guarantee that you will see images, you'll be able to picture Garrett, why? Because Garrett sounds like he is actually narrating his own story and not reading from a script or reciting some memorized lines. It feels like this is something that he has really experienced and would like to share. There are brief instances of word switchery, where you begin a word but quickly use another one, that could have easily been fixed in editing and though it isn't a big problem, it's still noticeable throughout the skit. Your pace was meticulous and I can tell that you put time into choosing your words and believe me, it paid off. The school sequence was good because it sounded believable and you didn't just tell, you also showed through some good old-fashioned voice acting which is exactly what this competition is about. Normally, I am not a fan of extended sequences of narration and a couple sections, notably the inner-monologue following Garrett's getting beat up seemed to drag on but just as I was about to dock you some points for going on for too long, you took it to the next level with your death. It was then that I realized that there was no other way of going on, you had to use the narrative style to explain the next part of the story. The irony at end also managed to ramp this little story to the top of the list in terms of originality. *last sentence cut off due to lack of space LOL*

pawlakt responds:

freakin awesome review!!! The other three scores are simply amazing! I'll take what you said and fix what I have to... though I still like monologues...

[The One Armed Man]

__REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

FINAL SCORE - 78

I thought it was a fantastic story, although far too long which made it a bit boring at some parts. This is one of those classic cop stories, so I deducted one point from originality.. which isnt really that much out of 100. So anyway, the acting was superb and every character sounded different from one another. There were some parts that sounded kind of sketchy when it came to acting, such as the man screaming next to the chainsaw, but since this is 10 minutes long it only makes up 1% of the entire thing. Just a little thing here and there, but all in all it was a great story and I enjoyed it. I even started to feel sorry for the one armed man. I hope to see more from you, Newgrounds needs some serious drama voice actors. TRy contacting SickDeathFiend, he needs some serious drama voice actors such as yourself. You could have cut back on the cursing a bit, but fuck this is fucking newgrounds for you shit fuck cocks. Lol, I always loved turtles. ;) - 88

Thanks for entering the competition! Read below to see what the other judges said.

SCRIBBLER SAYS:

Acting - 18
Fit - 19
Originality - 5
Range - 11
Mixing - 7

60

There are times where swearing isn't necessary but also, there are times where it is quite necessary but even then, it must be done tastefully. The two first F bombs you begin with (not even a minute into the skit) really seemed unnecessary which affected the narrator's voice. Swearing naturally emphasizes emotion and sometimes can even create the character. In this given situation, it was detrimental and very weak. Dominguez sounded more like your natural voice (but I may be wrong) so the interactions between Dominguez and your narrator made the narrator's cadence sound somewhat forced. Perhaps a less "half-way movie trailer guy" voice would have worked better for the narrator. I would have also preferred maybe a bit more acting and slightly less explaining/story-telling. Despite all these flaws, my biggest problem was the acting, though it shined at certain parts (ever so slightly,) overall, the acting felt extremely wooden and this piece would have worked either with higher quality sound effects or none at all. I would have suggested "home-made" sound effects (with your mouth) but obviously you were going for the serious approach here. And one more thing, this was way too long. Several parts could have been cut down and the action could have been amped up, not to the point of satisfying the MTV ADD-riddled generation but so it would be more interesting overall. Also, the ending was completely irrelevant to you story and as I said before, you were going for the whole serious approach so that really ruined it for me.

**Damn this is a long ass review. Thanks Scribbler.: FatKidWitAJetPak***

NAXSTER SAYS:

Acting 28 / 35
Fit 18 / 25
Originality 15 / 15
Range 15 / 15
Mixing 3 / 10

79/100

COMMENTS: Kinda long. Hard to say who was the mental case in this. Plenty of voices.

STALAGMITE SAYS:

Acting - 30/35
Fit - 23/25
Originality - 11/15
Range 11/15
Mix 10/10

- 85

I personally loved dexter... and detected his personality in your voice patterns. :D how geeky. ...its MUCH harder to entertain with pure acting and intelligent writing than comedy and silly voices. Good acting. But weak screaming and not very convincing anger.

[Errol and the Squirrel]

__REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

FINAL SCORE - 71 *averaged from all judges*

The mixing wasn't very good. Tons of static, hard to understand, your p's and s's were far too loud, and the quality was not very good either. We are not sure if you used a radio amplifier or not for this, so we gave you a 0 for the mixing category in replace of disqualifying you for the use of an amplifier. Consider yourself lucky on that part. As for the story, it didnt seem to original. The classic story built upon narration has been done countless times in the past. The voices were pretty good though. You have a good, strong voice that could be used as a narrator, yet you also are capable of changing it to sound squeaky or mental. That is hard to do and I give you points for that. If you want to start voice acting, which you should because of your voice *well what else lol* you should buy a podcasting microphone. There are many available for relatively cheap prices. Just ask your nearest music store. Good luck! -63

Thanks for entering the contest! Read below to see what the other judges said.

SCRIBBLER SAYS:

Acting - 19
Fit - 15
Originality - 6
Range - 13
Mixing - 9

62

I like your narrating voice, the problem is that Errol sounds exactly like the narrator, the only difference being that Errol has some emotion when he speaks. I liked the squirrel voice BUT there was "WAAAAYY" too much narrator in this story and not enough of the other characters. This one has a problem found in other submissions, where there is too much telling and not enough showing. This is not to say that the story wasn't any good, it wasn't exceptional but it was alright though I don't really know Errol. Okay, he speaks like a mentally handicapped individual but that's it... For a submission named after the supposed main character, he doesn't do/say much. This one should have been called "Errol and the Squirrel: As told by the Narrator."

NAXSTER SAYS:

Acting 30 / 35
Fit 25 / 25
Originality 15 / 15
Range 15 / 15
Mixing 10 / 10

95/100

COMMENTS: Sounded to close to the mic. The S sounds pronounced made a grading sound. Might want to invest in a better mic.

STALAGMITE SAYS:

Errol and the squirrel By: themanthelegend
Acting - 22/35
Fit - 16/25
Originality - 8/15
Range 8/15
Mix 6/10
- 60

A wonderfully told tale! I really enjoyed listening to the dialogue... wonderfully written, but it seemed like you missedf out a lot of oppertunities to capture some real good gags! Which I think you needed to compensate for the lack of direction;D

themanthelegend responds:

Thanks to all for judging and writing detailed reviews. As I feared, my mic quality cost me on this one. Oh well, there's always next time. I think I'll take your advice on the podcast mic, fatkid.

[The Call - NG VA Competition]

__REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

FINAL SCORE - 74 *averaged from all judges*

The quality of your home made sound effects was very nice and made the whole thing enjoyable to listen to. I didnt feel that you were to into you characters, however, as it was a bit monotone. The impersonations of the british guy, the joker, and Snake didnt really do it for me. They sounded like... a guy trying to impersonate them. I did enjoy the story though and found it funny that this guy just randomly broke into his house and had a bipolar breakdown of some sorts. You would think that the main character would freak out a bit more instead of saying "oh my god your bleeding." It should be OH MY GOD YOUR BLEEDING! Just work on your acting a bit. Try to actually BE THERE instead of talking into a microphone. I laughed at the concept, but it just needed to be carried out a bit better. Hehe, im in the fortress. -78

Thanks for entering the competition! Read below to see what the other judges said.

NAXSTER SAYS:

The Call - NG VA Competition

Acting 35 / 35
Fit 23 / 25
Originality 8 / 15
Range 15 / 15
Mixing 10 / 10

91/100

COMMENTS: None.

Stalagmite Says:

The Call - NG VA Competition By: Lithifold
Acting - 20/35
Fit - 17/25
Originality - 7/15
Range8 /15
Mix 8/10

- 60

SCRIBBLER SAYS:

Acting - 25
Fit - 17
Originality - 11
Range - 10
Mixing - 9

72

You took the easy route here with the whole Metal Gear concept (in the beginning) but I overlooked that. Otacon's yelling was very unconvincing, it was as if you were afraid of waking the neighbors (and I am talking about the real world here; as in you sitting in the chair speaking into a microphone.) I appreciate that you made your own sound effects and that was fantastic and the little twist you threw into this one with Steve being a deranged individual worked well with the contest guidelines. However, I do like how you made Steve do a bunch of different voices (Snake, Joker, etc) but I think it would have been better if you came up with your own characters instead of using popular ones, seems a bit lazy on your part. So it was a win/lose possibility and I think you won, barely since it stands apart from the other submissions in that regard though I think you could have gone just a little bit further with it.

[Reuben's Trucker Tales]

__REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

FINAL SCORE - 80 *averaged from all judges scores*

As soon as I entered this page on the audio portal, I said WOW because of how well you did the truckers voice. The length was juuusstt right because I started to not pay attention after the last second. I was laughing at every turn, especially at the part where he said he was a sandwhich. Thats original as hell. The story was interesting as well and it made me want to see this made into a flash cartoon. I thought you did a great job on making everyone sound different, but at some points I could tell that you still had the cops accent in you when you were trying to do the sandwhich. What I do to prevent this is record all the lines separately and then mix them together after I write out the story. Make sure to always pause after each line, or else you will make an accent mistake more often. A noticable error in this entry was that you needed a pop filter to prevent PBT sounds. Look up on google how to make a home made one, works every time. Faved.

- 85

Thanks for entering the contest! *read below to see what the others said*

NAXSTER SAYS:

Acting 25 / 35
Fit 20 / 25
Originality 13 / 15
Range 15 / 15
Mixing 0 / 10

73/100

COMMENTS: Like the main character being a sandwich. No noticeable mixing. Pronounced your P's to close to the microphone.

STALAGMITE SAYS:

Acting - 24/35
Fit - 19/25
Originality - 10/15
Range 13/15
Mix 7/10

- 73

You trampled a few words and kept patting the mike with your breath. but this is extremely hilarious and wonderfully entertaining!

Scribbler SAYS:

Acting - 33
Fit - 23
Originality - 14
Range - 14
Mixing - 5

- 89

Original, that's the word I'm going to use to describe the overall feel of this one. The characters all sounded very different which made it even more interesting to listen to and even the title itself is clever. Something a couple of the other contestants didn't do that you did well was showing instead of simply telling. The introspection worked and your implementation of turtles is one of my favorites so far. The ending felt a little rushed but it worked because you ended with the word "turtle."

AMTRAX91 responds:

I almost cried and died when i saw this...thanks for the great reviews and i looking forward to the results

[Quest to Slay the Princess]

__REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

FINAL SCORE - 74 *averaged from all judges scores*

LOL. This was simply hilarious. I enjoyed the story and thought your homemade sound effects of wind in the background was pretty cool as well. The acting didnt have very many flaws, but that was because you didnt have too many serious lines to do. Even so, everyone sounded like they really were in a tricky situation of deciding if they should bring this guy in a shiny wheel chair along on their quest. The plot was outright laughable and original as well. Tits and cheetos? Best line ever. I did notice that some of your characters sounded alike. You did include a wide variety of characters though, so it was hard to make everyone sound different I am sure. If you want to make more voices, try twisting your throat around and make different sounds until you figure out how to talk with that pitch. you will get eventually if you keep practicing, I enjoyed this a lot. I also noticed some mixing issues such as a loud buzzing noise at 42 seconds. Well, good job!

- 89

Thanks for entering the contest! *read below to figure out what the other judges said*

NAXSTER SAYS:

Quest to Slay the Princess

Acting 30 / 35
Fit 22 / 25
Originality 11 / 15
Range 13 / 15
Mixing 4 / 10

80/100

COMMENTS: The word turtles was well integrated. The wind sound in the background was mixed in all right. Voice range was good.

STALAGMITE SAYS:

Acting - 22/35
Fit - 17/25
Originality - 5/15
Range 8/15
Mix 7/10

59/100

It was quite funny, well actually the retard was hilarious! but the other characters were not to interesting also it didn't have much story.

SCRIBBLER SAYS:

Acting - 24
Fit - 18
Originality - 3
Range - 12
Mixing - 9

66

Shrek for adults? I laughed out loud at the name "Sir Sexy Shorts" and the voices were somewhat well done though Galgitesh sounded a little like Sexy Shorts at parts. Crippled guy sounded like a cartoon character which is not bad and I enjoyed the whishing wind sounds in the background, assuming you did all that with your mouth. The story is not original, which is why I referenced it to Shrek, ha. Save the princess, or erm, I mean, slay the princess... Okay, right. Implementation of turtles here was alright, nothing special really.

[The Tale of Christopher C]

__FINAL REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

FINAL SCORE: 66/100

A very original story indeed! The acting for the insane man was superb and sounded like he actually was insane from whatever he experienced BACK THERE. Of course he could sound a bit better, but you convinced me. The ending was hilarious and I cant believe I didnt see it coming since it was required that the entries say turtles at the end. Great job in distracting me from that! The only thing I found wrong was that the three characters sounded very similar to each-other, but with slightly different accents. You should improve on doing different characters by simply raising or lowering the pitches. Experiment with different voices by twisting and turning your throat in different and awkward ways. Even if it hurts to do some voices, drink some water to make each voice sound fresh. I gave you a 77 for my opinion.

Thanks for entering the contest. ***Continue reading below to see why your score is the way it is***

NAXSTER SAYS:

Acting 30 / 35
Fit 20 / 25
Originality 14 / 15
Range 10 / 15
Mixing 0 / 10

FINAL SCORE: 74/100

COMMENTS: No noticeable mixing. Chris sounded like the narrator and hat is why range got dinged. Good ending to bring the word turtles into the story.

STALAGMITE SAYS:

Acting - 27/35
Fit - 20/25
Originality - 9/15
Range 3/15
Mix 8/10

FINAL - 67/100

It Sounds like Golem putting on heirs at the Meldwin tea party. :D your Voice acting is superb and unusual, it seems to come naturally to you! However your story didn't move in any direction. Not enough interaction for me.

SCRIBBLER SAYS:

Acting - 20
Fit - 12
Originality - 5
Range - 3
Mixing - 7
47
First off, the stuttering was not very convincing at all and every single character had an accent which normally wouldn't matter except that means every single voice sounded like it came from the same person! The story wasn't very interesting at all since it was just a telling instead of a showing. Since this is a voice-acting shtick, I would have maybe actually done the whole, you know, "let's go back and see how it really went down" sorta thing... Didn't happen here, sadly. The character's were not convincing either, especially the doctor/scientist: too calm and didn't seem to give a shit about anything. And the idol (singular) looked like turtles? Didn't like the ending.

Vert responds:

Here's a response to each individual review:

Fatkid: Thanks for the compliments! Your not the only one who didn't see the turtles coming, other reviews I've received have mentioned this too and I like that you thought that Christopher sounded mad, he was a very fun character to voice. Regarding my lack of range, well, I don't really have much range in terms of pitch, sadly, but I'll try your other suggestion (twisting my throat around) to see if I can't make different sounding voices, which has always been my biggest problem when I voice act. Thanks again for organizing the contest and for the review!

NAXSTER: Again, my range is really poor, so I make no excuses. When I do voice acting work, I can only play one character because of this, really. Glad you also liked the ending. Concerning the mixing, well, I didn't do much mixing work, for sure, but I did record the voices separately and mix them, but I guess that's basic enough that it doesn't really count. Thanks for the review!

STALAGMITE: What a weird and wonderful comparison! I guess I do sound somewhat like Golem, but it hadn't occurred to me until you pointed it out. =] Thanks too for the compliments concerning the acting, it's a confidence booster. I agree with you that the story didn't have much interaction, but I guess I wanted to avoid making it even more evident how similar the voices were, so I tried to give each character long dialogues. Thanks for the review!

SCRIBBLER: A pretty tough review, maybe a bit too harsh, but with some valid criticisms and good suggestions, which makes for a good review.
I disagree with you all the characters had accents, in fact, Christopher's voice is actually my normal voice, barring the crazy-stuttering-whines. I guess that because my normal voice has an English accent, that you thought I was actually trying to do one, which is understandable. But I make no excuses towards my lack of range, I agree completely.
Concerning the story, you've made an excellent suggestion, I could have taken the action to the mountain itself, as it would have made it all that much more interesting. However, I disagree with you concerning the doctor (he's actually meant to be a shrink), he was meant to sound calm and detached, which is how I remember these sorts of guys tended to act read in old horror stories (like Lovecraft), so as to contrast with the madness, which means I actually succeed. Thanks for the review!

[Beat Boxing Boner]

Wow wow wooww

THAT WAS REALLY GOOD! Better than i thought a beatboxing thing would be. Everything was mixed together very well and I was surprised that everything was made by your mouth, Xelu.

Very very nice.. YOU GOT SKILZ DOG.

[Beatbox Sample]

Respect

This is to funny man xD

5en.

Gooch responds:

I figured you would enjoy it someway, somehow. :)