FatKidWitAJetPak's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Smacked wiv da butt-Fix, Giggs]

Underrated Beyond Belief

I hate rap. I hate it a lot. Most of it is just plain crap to me, and lots of others here. However, this takes TALENT. That flow was crazy. I dont see the reason for all the cursing, but hell it does give it a sort of flow. That background beat was crazy! I found myself listening to this over and over again. I came back for more at least 6 times. I showed my other friend who hates rap, and he loves it as well. Ive heard lots of rap and even made fun of it with my own nerdy rap song. This, however, has something different. Is it the amazing vocal talent... or is it the lyrics? I dont know. All i know is this was a nice listen.

TIPS

Cut back on the cursing. No need to say pussy fuck shit cock or n****r over and over again. You can just wriute poetic lyrics and rap them.

Make a more variety in the background beat. Put in some synths. It doesnt have to be all beats and bass. You should put in some synth to make it not 100% rap, but a REALLY COOL FLOW SONG. Like a techno song but with lyrics that flow.

Good luck, dont mind the haters. Many just hate rap. Good job getting to top 5 hehe.

BOOMBLAST responds:

i feel you on that bruddah, but you gotta remember we havnt got the resources to spread reach out to other markets, so we gotta make the music that the market closet to use wants to hear, you feel me, plus with the cursing these guys only write the way they speak, we cant help it plus this music aint really for kids or the faint hearted, but bless for the love dawg, yea i understand these haters, that why i dont respond coz instead of just closing the site, they wanna listen to a genre they already dontlike and just complain, tell em to go out and find a girl haha, peace.

[(gaia) va3C 1st turtle]

__FINAL REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

FINAL SCORE - 81 *averaged from all judges*

Woh wooh wwwooohh slow down there fellah. I wasnt able to determine very much from this because I had to pay REALLY close attention to everything because 5 things were going on at once! What you should have done is make it a conversation where all 5 of them are talking and every now and then make it a bit chaotic, but only for a little while so the listener can maintain his.. attention span towards the plot. I heard a few of the jokes and laughed at everyone of them, but I couldnt finish listening to this because it was too hard to follow! You seemed to maintain a very good range so I give you props for that, but there is no way I could determine if you acting was very good or not and if your originality was good or not without having to listen 4 or 5 times. I recommend voice acting, however, because this did not sound like one person. It sounded like 10 completely different people. And your a girl? I know your secret... your actually a shemale arent you? No way in hell a girl can make all those manly man voices. Greeat job! Just please... make it flow better next time in a non-chaotic environment so we can enjoy your work rather than having to listen to a bunch of noise. :'( - 79

***After listening to this a couple of time, I realized just how fucking hilarious this was.. great job on that***

P.S. my tumor was benign and everything is dandy dandy, thanks for your concern.

Thanks for entering the contest! *Read below to see what the other judges said!*

NAXSTER SAYS:

Acting 35 / 35
Fit 19 / 25
Originality 15 / 15
Range 15 / 15
Mixing 10 / 10

94/100

COMMENTS: I'm guessing that the dad is the mental one.

STALAGMITE SAYS:

Acting - 33/35
Fit - 23/25
Originality - 13/15
Range 15/15
Mix 9/10
- 93

Wonderful, despite having o specific direction, it still simulates an unusual and interesting family structure. Excellent difference in character traits :D SUPER well done.

SCRIBBLER SAYS:

Acting - 20
Fit - 17
Originality - 5
Range - 9
Mixing - 7

58

The whole left/right idea was a bold move and I bet that on paper, this all sounded like a great idea but in execution, it was mildly sub-par. Not only was it absolutely confusing, trying to listen to all the different voices but it might have worked, had I believed that they were all different voices. The problem, or I guess the reality of multiple voices talking at the same time relies on selective listening and when more than two people are talking (like you tried to emulate in this piece) you'll only be able to discern what one of the people is actually saying, at most; maybe two. I am saying this because to achieve this illusion, you should have made only two of the voices actually saying things whilst making the background voices mere murmurs or, well, gibberish. Again, kudos on attempting all the different voices but I think you tried too hard. You chose to do three different kids' voices and I can understand that kids can sometimes (usually?) sound the same but the dad did not sound like a man. For the purposes of the contest, I would have maybe preferred some diversity in characters. The dialogue was definitely conversational in this and though it's understandable, there really was nothing memorable about this, at all.

rednikaiaG responds:

Oh Wow, FatKid and other Judges------>
First time submission making it FOURTH PLACE?!?!
I'm ok with that. Heh heh heh Thanks again for all of your feedback on it. I'll maybe have a closer idea of what it is I SHOULD sound like for the NEXT competition. Wah-Hooey I can't wait! Here are my individual responses to all the judges, Guys:

FatKidWitAJetPak------> 79/100 :)
I will DEFINITELY try and make multiple characters keep their individual presences from now on. I know it was hard trying to decipher what the hell was going on in that sub. I'm happy to hear not only did you "get" all the jokes but you laughed at them all as well (I KNOW it took several listens at LEAST).
ALL the compliments you gave me were amazing, especially coming from YOU, Man. Thanx for the props on my range FKWAJP! I can't believe you heard 10 different people within a skit that only contained 5 of my voices! Ha! For YOU to say that you DO recommend me for voice acting is simply a stunning statement for me to hear. Thanks again, man! Oh and yeah, I AM a girl. (Even though I know you think I'm a she-male due to all the lower ranged voices:). I will certainly try to make it flow better withOUT all the chaos and I might even try and throw out some of my more girly voices as well just to prove to you that I AM, in fact a chick. Just ask Karalex, Beaver Man the Brit, DrewtheMew, Assassin2, TARDOM, MysticCreature, and Wyldfyre1. They've all heard me and they know I am of the female persuasian. Glad to hear everything else turned out ok with you at the Hospital too, Man. Cheerz! Can't wait for the NEXT competition either!
*pats myself on the back as I realize I got a "that's fucking hilarious"
from FKWAJP, himself*

NAXSTER------> 94/100 :)
OMFGawd you are TOO kind! You have NO idea JUST how happy that made me seeing as how this was my first VA entry ever. *to be said like Elvis: Thank you. . . thank you very much. . . * Thanks for being patient and offering to judge this event too. I don't even know what to say with you giving me a score like that! I feel like I need to mail you a fuckin' fruit basket or something in appreciation or somethin'. Heh heh heh and yeah, the Dad AND his youngest son were the mental ones! <3 Thank you SO much, NAXSTER, forever and ever...

STALAGMITE------> 93/100 :)
Man! And to think. . . you judged this before we had even ever spoken! Are you SURE you didn't go back and ask to change your scores or something you had sent into FatKid the FIRST time? If not, you Sir have just made my WORLD with your score! THIS kind of score coming from you means a basket full of beaver skins to me, Man! You little musical genius, you. I'll have to deflate my head now from all this good stuff you three have given me so far! I'm surprised you could even find the time to judge with all the projects you have your hands all over now a days! Can't wait to hear from you on Le Skype, Pal! Until then, Stag-a-rino...

SCRIBBLER------> 58/100 :(
Oh wait, nevermind, I don't need an ego deflating, I got a score that did it for me! Ha ha ha ha Thanks for judging honestly Scribbler. Actually, there was no "on paper" planning for this! It was done in one day due to me thinking the deadline was like, 3 weeks away. My bad though. :) I just thought it might be easier to hear the voices if the two main ones were split channeled. Hell, I'd never submitted ANYthing before, let alone a voice acting skit, so for me to get as highly scored as I did, I'm stokin' about it. I had alot of comments about the Dad NOT sounding like a man, so I catch your drift in complaints for THAT department. I'm not a man, so I just did the best I could based on MY Popz. Maybe I should try and flaunt more of my female voices since those are what come naturally to me. I just had the punchline for the contest and wanted to use it! Thanks again for the brutally honest judging Scribbler. I hope to make my next contest submission way more MEMORABLE. *walks away with my proverbial tail between my legs*

Take care, be good and compete.period

<3Gaia<3

[The Rehab of Six Daves 2.0]

__REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

FINAL SCORE - 79 *averaged from all judges*

I enjoyed the idea and it did make me laugh. However some of the acting was a bit questionable. I couldnt actually feel like this was really going on. Sometimes it sounded as if a guy was talking into a mic! And we all know thats not wahts REALLY going on now dont we? The originality had to be cut off just a hair because obviously the DAVE thing has been done before. Hehe, great though that EVERYONE is named Dave. Thats funny. I would recommend seriously GETTING A NEW MIC. The one your currently have has tons of crackling and white noise. You have a good range of voices, now get a new mic, contact some artists saying you can help, and see what your capable of. - 73

Thanks for entering the contest! *read below to see what the other judges said*

NAXSTER SAYS:

Acting 32 / 35
Fit 25 / 25
Originality 15 / 15
Range 15 / 15
Mixing 9 / 10

96/100

COMMENTS: The redo of this was much better the other kind of droned on but this one was much cleaner. Only bad news was in trying to make the German voice the sound sounded horrible.

SCRIBBLER SAYS:

Acting - 23
Fit - 16
Originality - 12
Range - 11
Mixing - 6

68

This is a unique approach to the contest. Unfortunately, this is one of those ideas that looks fantastic on paper but in execution, proves to be very difficult to achieve (and and that is why you have 2 version of this perhaps?) Having said that, the "shotgunning" David sounded waaaaay too much like a cheap impersonation of Meatwad from the Aqua Teen Hunger Force series. The gasmask David didn't really sound like someone where a mask but the idea of having an altered voice through some sort of equipment (in this case the gas mask) was a real good idea, just executed in a rather average manner. Third David, full of Roman from Grand Theft Auto IV which wouldn't be a problem normally, it's just that you said exactly what Roman said in the game. Come on! I really have little to say about the fourth Dave, he was my least favorite because he was the most boring character-wise and the clichéd "yelling German" was a bit overdone. The fifth Dave was my favorite, perhaps due to his simplicity or somewhat mopey voice but I'm not sure what it was exactly. Something about the way he talked was very endearing. The twist at the ending... OMG!!! I saw it coming. All in all, nice idea but ultimately disappointing and no, it doesn't even have to do with the fact that you are using a $3 microphone.

STALAGMITE SAYS:

Acting - 27/35
Fit - 22/25
Originality - 12/15
Range 14/15
Mix 7/10

82

Absolutely brilliant!loved the script! Loved the voices. :D needs a little more interaction though..to convince us of the realistic setting... like coughing.. shuffling.. etc...I like that you had some silences to simulate realistic reaction.. but in some cases it was just dead time... just waiting for you to say words, twiddling thumbs. Lol.

Sh0ckFyre responds:

Thanks for the judgment, guys!

To correct what Scribbler said about my third Dave, I was shooting for Niko instead of Roman.

[The Turtle And The Wolf]

__REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

Final Score - 95*averaged from all judges*

HOLY SHIT. HOLY HOLY SHIT. HOLY MOLY ARTICHOKE SHIT!!! This was just outrageously hilarious and witty. The story was very well developed and the characters were perfectly voiced. I couldnt barely find any voice acting flaws rather than there occasionally being a stutter or two, which is rarely noticed by the public in a flash movie so very well done! Every single time the wolf talked I couldnt help but laugh. He was like some horny homicidal wolf obsessed with raping random objects. The turtle was some witty normal british character, a type of character I see present in many of your works, and was just like, "Wtf?" The ending was something I didnt expect either! I thought at first the turtle would make the wolf fuck something so outrageous no one could possably do it. But that was even better... just... just the funniest entry and one of the best. Fantastic job. You have a true talent here. - 98 *now thats a score*

NOTE TO OTHER CONTESTANTS: If you feel that this judging is unfair, I would be more than happy to argue it over with you.

Thanks for entering the contest! *read below to see what the other judges said*

SCRIBBLER SAYS:

Acting - 35
Fit - 25
Originality - 13
Range - 15
Mixing - 10

98

One of my favorite submissions. Not only do all of the characters sound distinctively different, but you cleverly employ the accented voice for the turtle, frustrated voice for the wolf, and slightly lethargic-sounding narrator. There also was ambience in this piece which many people will fail to notice, with the chirping birds and what not, it really felt like we were in the woods! No retards in this submission either which is a mega plus, sort of like a breath of fresh air! The wolf like to fuck shit, 'nuff said. The story was very imaginative and extremely creative and the ending worked for the story though I had already heard it somewhere BUT you managed to finish the story with the word "turtle," in a unique way I might add. Neverthless, you did what many others attempted or failed to do, you showed us through your clever dialogue and the various "narrative" additives were brilliant.

NAXSTER SAYS:

Acting 35 / 35
Fit 25 / 25
Originality 15 / 15
Range 15 / 15
Mixing 10 / 10

100/100

COMMENTS: Had everything Three voices, Mental problems and the word Turtle at the end. Clean audio too.

STALAGMITE SAYS:

The Turtle and the Wolf By: Eddache!
Acting - 29/35
Fit - 21/25
Originality - 15/15
Range 11/15
Mix 10/10

86

Full of win and hilarity! Well written. Performed with a tongue in cheek approach. Very silly and full of colour profanitys, with a perfect punchline! ;D well done!

Eddache responds:

Wow! Thank you so much!

[The Life of Garrett]

__REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

FINAL SCORE - 92 *averaged from all judges*

92 eh? Thats one ridiculous score. Congrats! Personally, I found that there were many acting flaws in your tone. At first I thought the stuttering every now and then was part of his characters, but every character stuttered. It was also a bit monotone at some points and didnt sound like he was depressed, it sounded like he was just bored and confused. He didnt sound handicapped either. He just sounded like a kind of awkwardly social kid who got beat up in school. I think you should have made him have a psycological disorder to where he ended up killing the bullies or stabbing one of them. If you really wanted to develop a true emotional story, make it into an actual short story about a kid who seems simply anti-social and is in a bad school, so he gets beat up. His character develops to where he would seem almost crazy, so he would begin being violent and in the end snap, then die of a heart attack or something.

What I mean is, this is a bit overrated. Sure it sent chills down my spine because the bullies killed him, the mixing was great since you used Garageband to back up everything with background noises, the characters did sound different, the quality was great, and the story was original. My personal score for you is a 83 and that still is extremely good and you would still get an award. So far your in 1st place. - 83

Thanks for entering the contest! *read below to see what the other judges said*

NAXSTER SAYS:

Acting 35 / 35
Fit 23 / 25
Originality 15 / 15
Range 15 / 15
Mixing 10 / 10

98/100

COMMENTS: Good Job.

STALAGMITE SAYS:

Acting - 35/35
Fit - 22/25
Originality -13 /15
Range 13/15
Mix 10/10

- 93

I bow down to you Pawklat. Holy shat. I nearly cried. NOT JOKE! Well done.

SCRIBBLER SAYS:

Pawlakt - The Life of Garrett
Acting - 34
Fit - 23
Originality - 15
Range - 15
Mixing - 9

96

I'm going to begin with a quote: "The best way for me to explain my life, is to take you through it." That sentence alone encompasses exactly what I wanted from every single actor in this competition! No other phrase could describe in more detail what I was specifically looking for (amongst the other criteria of course.) Now, even though you said that in your piece, I will try and not let the wonderful quote and fantastic choice of music affect my judgment of your piece. The first thirty seconds are extremely powerful, even without the music, your delivery feels like someone who has something extremely important to say but is taking his time to get it all right, so it can be presented the way it deserves. Close your eyes, anyone who listens to this piece (especially from the beginning) and I can almost guarantee that you will see images, you'll be able to picture Garrett, why? Because Garrett sounds like he is actually narrating his own story and not reading from a script or reciting some memorized lines. It feels like this is something that he has really experienced and would like to share. There are brief instances of word switchery, where you begin a word but quickly use another one, that could have easily been fixed in editing and though it isn't a big problem, it's still noticeable throughout the skit. Your pace was meticulous and I can tell that you put time into choosing your words and believe me, it paid off. The school sequence was good because it sounded believable and you didn't just tell, you also showed through some good old-fashioned voice acting which is exactly what this competition is about. Normally, I am not a fan of extended sequences of narration and a couple sections, notably the inner-monologue following Garrett's getting beat up seemed to drag on but just as I was about to dock you some points for going on for too long, you took it to the next level with your death. It was then that I realized that there was no other way of going on, you had to use the narrative style to explain the next part of the story. The irony at end also managed to ramp this little story to the top of the list in terms of originality. *last sentence cut off due to lack of space LOL*

pawlakt responds:

freakin awesome review!!! The other three scores are simply amazing! I'll take what you said and fix what I have to... though I still like monologues...

[Errol and the Squirrel]

__REVIEW FROM CONTEST__

FINAL SCORE - 71 *averaged from all judges*

The mixing wasn't very good. Tons of static, hard to understand, your p's and s's were far too loud, and the quality was not very good either. We are not sure if you used a radio amplifier or not for this, so we gave you a 0 for the mixing category in replace of disqualifying you for the use of an amplifier. Consider yourself lucky on that part. As for the story, it didnt seem to original. The classic story built upon narration has been done countless times in the past. The voices were pretty good though. You have a good, strong voice that could be used as a narrator, yet you also are capable of changing it to sound squeaky or mental. That is hard to do and I give you points for that. If you want to start voice acting, which you should because of your voice *well what else lol* you should buy a podcasting microphone. There are many available for relatively cheap prices. Just ask your nearest music store. Good luck! -63

Thanks for entering the contest! Read below to see what the other judges said.

SCRIBBLER SAYS:

Acting - 19
Fit - 15
Originality - 6
Range - 13
Mixing - 9

62

I like your narrating voice, the problem is that Errol sounds exactly like the narrator, the only difference being that Errol has some emotion when he speaks. I liked the squirrel voice BUT there was "WAAAAYY" too much narrator in this story and not enough of the other characters. This one has a problem found in other submissions, where there is too much telling and not enough showing. This is not to say that the story wasn't any good, it wasn't exceptional but it was alright though I don't really know Errol. Okay, he speaks like a mentally handicapped individual but that's it... For a submission named after the supposed main character, he doesn't do/say much. This one should have been called "Errol and the Squirrel: As told by the Narrator."

NAXSTER SAYS:

Acting 30 / 35
Fit 25 / 25
Originality 15 / 15
Range 15 / 15
Mixing 10 / 10

95/100

COMMENTS: Sounded to close to the mic. The S sounds pronounced made a grading sound. Might want to invest in a better mic.

STALAGMITE SAYS:

Errol and the squirrel By: themanthelegend
Acting - 22/35
Fit - 16/25
Originality - 8/15
Range 8/15
Mix 6/10
- 60

A wonderfully told tale! I really enjoyed listening to the dialogue... wonderfully written, but it seemed like you missedf out a lot of oppertunities to capture some real good gags! Which I think you needed to compensate for the lack of direction;D

themanthelegend responds:

Thanks to all for judging and writing detailed reviews. As I feared, my mic quality cost me on this one. Oh well, there's always next time. I think I'll take your advice on the podcast mic, fatkid.

[Beatbox Sample]

Respect

This is to funny man xD

5en.

Gooch responds:

I figured you would enjoy it someway, somehow. :)

[DPulse - We Like Crocodiles]

Well this was unexpected!

I was thinking this was going to be some generic song made by a 14 year old that wasnt very good at all... instead i heard a very enjoying song with a great build up synth that had me addicted from the start. Then you added in a build up beat, which was a very professional thing to do. You even added onto the synth as the beat came in. THEN added another build up beat that ended with a nice KICK. And then with a sort of solo synth with a soothing pad in the background.

The only thing I would recommend doing is adding more synths to make things interesting. Try making some more of your own synths like you did in the background near the 2 minute marker.

If you wanted to make this an actual rave song, you should have continued it with one of your own home made synths except with its pitch going in and out. Like a huge solo with different beats and.. well its hard to explain.

Listen to AH.FM in Itunes radio under the elctronic station if you want to hear what im talking about.

Cheers, and good luck! :) *your better than me at making music BTW, using garageband with pre-set loops inst very talented. :/*

DigitalPulse responds:

Wow, a long review! I was trying to stay away from generic, and I guess I did :). The song was a little bland at some parts, I must agree with you. I need to develop more on some sections of the song. I'll be sure to check out that station ;)

AND DON'T FORGET THIS IS A COLLAB, CHECK OUT KALAPSIA :)

Thanks for the review,

Digital Pulse